WE CAN'T TRUST ELON!
Not with my top secret plans for war with China, anyway! (Although I'm still fine with him having all your data.)
Drunk Pete Hegseth almost got carried away again.
He was just about to share our very sensitive and very classified plans for war with China with South African druggie (and I mean that nicely) Elon Musk.
But thankfully your Favorite President (or King if you prefer) stepped in and saved America just in time!
As I told the fake news media:
I DON'T WANT TO SHARE MY CHINA WAR PLANS WITH ANYBODY!
YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT A POTENTIAL WAR WITH CHINA!
I CERTAINLY YOU WOULDN'T SHOW IT TO A BUSINESSMAN WHOSE TESLA STOCK IS TANKING SO BADLY!
ELON IS CRYING A LOT LATELY AND DESPERATE TO MAKE THE CHINESE PEOPLE LIKE HIM AGAIN!
HE’S EVEN TOLD HIS WORKERS IN SHANGHAI THEY CAN NOW SLEEP SIX TO A MATTRESS ON HIS GIGAFACTORY FLOORS!
SO GENEROUS!
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I WOULD LET ELON SEE MY SECRET WAR PLANS, BELIEVE ME!
AND I DEFINITELY WOULDN’T HAVE GIVEN THE PLANS TO LITTLE X EITHER.
I’M NOT THAT STUPID!
THE PLANS ARE COMPLETELY SAFE BY MY TOILET IN MAR-A-LAGO!
THANK YOU!