Don't Mention "Frost" on Monday!
It's OK to say it's "icy" and "freezing," but don't remind anyone that 86-year-old Robert Frost performed at JFK's inauguration in 22 degree weather.
I am a very strong and very powerful man!
Many people tell me I am the mightiest and most impressive 78-year-old they have ever seen!
Believe me, nothing would have pleased me more than to deliver my second Inauguration speech outdoors and shirtless while standing on top of my famed garbage truck in the 22 degree weather that is being forecast for DC!
It would have been not only YUGE but also a spectacular homage to my original benefactor V. Putin!
Unfortunately, my new “bestie” Elon Musk says he cannot tolerate any temperature below 50 degrees so he has moved our ceremony indoors.
Who am I to argue?
Even Eric knows, the customer is always right!
So don’t believe your eyes if they tell you that I am looking weak and frail.
Don’t listen to anyone who tells you I have the glazed expression of a dementia patient!
No one my age should be expected go out in the cold unless they are a highly trained poet like Robert Frost.
In 1961, at the age of 86, Frost recited a poem from memory at JFK's inauguration in 22 degree weather.
That was back in the days when men were men.
And poets were tougher than reality TV divas.